THE LIFE OF THE STOICS....

I know most of y'all are wondering.....

'Who be this bitch huh?!' 

'From nowhere she’s all up on our timelines, Ati about ohh digital marketing and stuff…'

Relax, here’s a little something about me, just a sneak peak…..

I’m not perfect, not claiming to be. One thing I know for sure though, I’m really great at what I do. Like a wonder woman in my own right – matter of fact, he calls me wonder woman.

I’m a peoples’ person. A social butterfly. I can vibe with anyone, anywhere, any time, social status notwithstanding. Old, young, rich, poor, boys, girls, other….you name it. They call it charisma I hear, that thing that I got, that thing that draws everyone in. 

What is charisma you ask? Great question Joe.

It’s an offering of warmth and competence in equal measure, psychologists and philosophers say. 

Warmth is the care factor. The human factor. Stoicism at its best. Tolerance at its core.

Adjusting, flexibility and adaptation comes so easy to me. Maybe because of my upbringing, my blended family. Maybe because I just realised early on that the best of moments, the best of times, are the times that I most felt alive. 

No honey, you’ll be surprised that the majority of those had nothing to do with money or the finer things in life, the moments were so simple yet so fulfilling. Talk about the simplest of valentines days.

“Aki babe I don’t have a lot of cash sahii but I got you a little something.” That was kaquorra of some fine tasting vodo na chocolates za dairy milk, izi kawaida. 

“This is all I got for now baby, but lemme compensate for it the best way I know how to, today is all about you, I’m your loyal servant!”

“Now get those darn clothes of mi lady, daddy wants to play!” He said smirking at me.

 Aah, three hours later we were seated hapo kwa mathes kibandaski sharing a plate of madondo…..that's how tired he got me, that’s how much energy he spent up, to date, that’s still my best valentines day ever! The glow lasted for days, the memory still so fresh….

Aki mapenzi wewe…… 

What’s more alive than life? Than living? 

Living different lives in one.

Hmmm....interesting, how does one do that though? Seeing as we all got one life to live?

Listening....reading...being present. Actively seeing life through their eyes, with no judgement. Rather, more acceptance even if it makes no sense to you, long as it does to them. That, that simple little thing, gets you living a thousand different lives in one!

You realize how alike we all are really. Our emotions are the one thing that connects us. The basic fundamentals that make us who we are. Our fears and our hopes, our dreams and our ambitions, love, lust, longing, jealousy, satisfaction, empathy, regret, happiness, anger, joy….we all got them. They may vary in intensity and nuance but they are all there. And we all want to be understood. To be acknowledged. That’s the beauty of life don’t you think? We all have just one life. 

Seeing as I already cracked the code - the tried, tested and proven by an expert code - seeing it through other peoples’ eyes. (Oh, sometimes they call me an expert hihi...) It's got me at an advantage.

I listen, I pay attention. Talking to me leaves you feeling seen, understood, validated. 

Human beings are so interesting. A pandora's box really. 

What makes a person tick? What experiences did you go through to be who you are now? To hold the values you do now? What can you take and what can’t you take? Your belief system, how did that come to happen? Ama ulijipata tu? What are your relationships like?....Who are you? The billion dollar question most can’t answer

The thing is, I can’t hide my feelings. Not one bit, not even to save my life. My face and heart are intertwined. Whatever one feels, the other feels too. And oh does it show. My vagina is a close third. 

It works like this; I have a bad day, you’ll see it. 

On the other extreme too. 

If I’m excited, happy, jolly, in love…..you see it and feel it too. It gets infectious real quick. I’m a positive Polly, to me, there’s nothing you can’t really get out of. Like sure, we all get hurt and disappointed from time to time, my way, I let myself feel it. Sit in my emotions for a bit. Kitambo I used to escape it. Thus the never ending parties, the drinking and the never wanting to be alone for too long to actually let it hurt. Clearly, it never worked, triggered my mental breakdown and a later diagnosis of bipolar.

My blessing and my curse!

These days I am so attuned to my emotions, making me even better at drawing other peoples’ too. I get to most people.

Why? 

Same reason people love babies, dogs, and damsels in distress. 

Vulnerability! 

They all look so helpless that you just can’t help loving them. Plus, especially for pets and babies, there’s just a way they can tell bad vibes, I swear there's a science to this. Actually, we all can. It's just that as we get older, with the world as our stimuli, we kinda sorta lose it. It’s a defence mechanism for them. They can’t do much physically, so they rely on that instinct to help them chaff out the bad from the loot.

Imagine this, 

You get me at my shop, all gloomy and down. Trying my best not to show it, but I can’t fake shit manze, If I like you I like you, If I don’t, I just don’t give a damn! 

Rihanna said it best, “Baby if I don’t feel it I ain’t faking no no….”

“What’s up Dee?”

That’s all I need to let the floodgates lose. 

I’ve got no shame really – A boy broke my heart, heck, imma tell you. Cramps zimenilemea, oh I’ll say it. Boy or girl, man or woman. It could be as little as I’m just hungry or as big as my partner in business just screwed me over. I don’t care, you ask, I’ll tell you. Be it a tummy ache or losing a dear one, either to the spirit world or a simple, we are not good for each other no more typa situation.

“Sweety, I see no value in keeping you around in my life anymore.”

Yeah, I know that's a harsh, but if you’ve been through what I’ve been through these past four years, you’d get it mamaa….if there’s no value, you walk. But who am I to preach it if I don’t walk it? 

I’m so ok with being cut off these days.. Like hey, if having me in your life causes more bad than good, please, please please, just tell me,.....

“Dee, politely, acha tu story yetu iishie hapa.”

I’m not saying it won’t sting, I’m human after all. It will. But I’ll get over it. Siku izi it happens so fast. Kusonga kama injili nani. Time invested notwithstanding!

I had to learn that the hard way though. My tiny heart the collateral damage. 

You know what hurts more than a lover breaking your heart? 

A friend breaking it, better yet,..family!

Like yoh, from a boyfriend, that’s always a risk. Giving someone the power to affect you like that, deep down, deep deep down, we know they could possibly use it to screw you over. But a friend, my guy! Weuh! Me I never saw that coming!

I’m complicated. That’s a fact. To get me wholly and entirely is an uphill battle, I’m still learning me I mean. My tech world meets my design creative world. Meets my natural gift with people. Meets my bold fearless soul.

Like hellooo, if people never saw the billionaire in me from the get go, I swear hao ndo walikua na shida. Twas so evident!

Shit like that should be natured.

Mihadarati they will always buy, some Hennessy on the rocks, sure, that's not a problem, spending 50Gs a night was never a problem but talk to them about some business idea you got, everyone runs for the hills. Big fat lessons I tell you!

Here’s the thing, an uncomfortable truth….

When the value you were bringing to the table is no longer there, when it is not working for them, they discard you like the promises our politicians make. I had to learn that the hard way…..

Most of my friends bought into my ideas at first. I mean, you could see the vision, and being the freaking genius that I am, most never doubted or questioned it. It got complicated though, like all businesses do. The moment the challenges started pouring in, they went back to their original trained frame of mind. Their default setting…….

This is a story about that… about how thinking outside the box ain't as welcoming as it is thought to be, about how fear can cloud ones judgements and about reaching for the stars, when everyone believed it wasn't the way to go...

Keep it tuned.

#AllAboutDee 

#TheMarketingMaven 

#DianaFamba #MadamCEO